Fancy meeting you here!

It's like seeing an old friend again that you were not ready to see or have been otherwise avoiding... Blog, how I've... missed you? It looks like it's been almost 3 years since I've been on this site. Yes, I have been avoiding you, and without good reason... but I digress. A lot has happened since you and I last spoke, please allow me to fill you in-

I guess I'll start with the most significant change in my life- the parting of ways with my significant other. My husband of 5 years and I have parted ways with a mutual divorce. Don't get sad now, a congrats is in order for us both! Sometimes you just grow apart. From now on its onward and upward.

All that weight I had been posting about losing? Eventually lost 40 lbs... then the following year put it back on... and now most recently, I've lost almost all of it again. Then... well you know the story. For all my friends out there- the yo-yo dieter in me is still strong!!! At least I've still got that going for me.

I am also still living in Los Angeles, making music, gigging, singing in studios and loving life. And alas... still a nobody. 

So here it is.... I'll just take it day by day and try not to neglect you, and in turn will you please keep me sane by allowing me to b*tch and moan about my life in a safe cuddly place? Solid.

Today is Feb 7th. and the 1st day of my juice fast!!! I tried to start on the 1st but... well I tried. In any case I'm going for 3 weeks! Wish me luck :) Plus I got in my Runyan Canyon hike in today. Warrior Princess status!

In other news tonight I'm going to a grammy event for a band I sing background in. How is it possible that the leader started this group last year and is already getting these invites? I mean, fabulous... hey, I've had a band and been performing since what feels like the beginning of time... but what about me?? Lol... isn't that always the secret question. *What About ME!?!? Either way- I'm glad I'm going! It looks pretty fun. Plus this band I sing in is made up of all my very good friends. Talented and jiggy with it. Who am I kidding It's gonna be a blast! I'm especially juiced to see Lianne La Havas, Ed Sheeran, Leann Rimes and Dionne Warwick! 

So there it is Diary... My official comeback. #YoureWelcome ;)

Taking a YOUturn

Yesterday was Independence Day. I had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows... allow me to explain.


The 4th of July is a memorable day for my husband and I, we always make it a point to do something special and see a fireworks show. (fireworks make me crazy happy emotional- but that's another story!) Well that's exactly what we did! We ended up at a gorgeous little restaurant for drinks, then off to the Woodland hills park. It was the highest of highs! Spending time with him when we have so little time to begin with is a dream!


Now... you may ask, "So what the hell went wrong?" Well, as I keep mentioning, I am in a group class for the Total Flex workout machine. We are each other's support group for being healthy and losing weight. It's pretty much become my main focus, and my life! Yesterday I was at the lowest weight since I started the class! So proud of myself! A little overly confident though... with all the food vendors, and the smells of the sugary, greasy goodness... I found myself a whole pack of butter toffee peanuts, All beef hot dog with all the fixins, and a tri-tip sandwich smothered in bbq sauce heavier. 

NO!!!! WHYYYYYY!!! My self-control is ridiculously low, I cannot believe I threw all that work away. Worst thing is weigh-in is Tuesday... The guilt I feel is just terrible, not only did I let myself down, I feel like I personally let everyone else down. Of course that is not the case, but that's the way it feels.


Today I am going to meet with my new found friend Amy and we are going to go hiking at Runyan Canyon. When I told her about yesterday she said... and I quote... "hey you can make a YOUturn, we'll turn this around today! :) " Jeeze I love her! I can turn this around! And that's exactly what I intend to do!

Date night

I'm home, thinking of nothing but sweet sweet sleep, but something just keeps pulling me to the laptop. I know that I decided that I'm not going to force myself to blog everyday, and I assure you, I'm not... but I'm starting to crave it. I honestly don't feel like writing right now. I'm tired! I just need a place to let out all the steam I always have swirling around in my head, and by God I think I've found it.

Here's the rundown... Woke up at 430am for my ritual total flex workout with trainer Steve Maresca in Hollywood, sweat about a bucket, then went straight to the gym in Sherman Oaks to sweat another. Afterwards home to cram, learning 2 songs in a different language for a noon audition in Pasadena, then home to grab rent, run it over to the office in West Hollywood. You think it ends there? Think again! A visit to Hollywood & Highland Mall, dinner, cocktails, and watching 'Eclipse' in Woodland Hills with the hubby. An all around enjoyable day, but exhausting!

My husband and I have completely opposite schedules so we rarely see each other unless we're saying goodbye :(. The good thing is he has a set schedule with Thursdays and Fridays off work. Thursdays and Fridays have become our 'date nights'!  As busy as I am I really try to make sure I don't book anything those days if I can help it so that we can spend it together. We did have a leisurely stroll down the walk of fame, snapping a photo of the famous Graumen's Chinese Theater. Then dinner which consisted of a shared salad and cocktails (straight up vodka martinis for me! Minimal calories.) Then, believe it or not, he practically DRAGGED me to see the new Twilight film 'Eclipse' ;) Or maybe it was the other way around? Who really remembers with such a great buzz goin! (I can't drink like I used to.)

Now? Cuddling in front of the t.v. with all fruit sugar free popsicles. Isn't married life grand! :)  To bad the craziness starts all over again tomorrow. Well... Thanks for the great night hun! Same time next week??? - It's a date!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

 I booked two jobs for today. 

1. An infomercial selling a mint that is supposed to stop smoking cravings
2. Working as an extra on a music video shoot for 'Dynamite' with Taio Cruz and Jennifer Lopez. 

Great right?.... Sooooo not. I had to make a decision quick. The infomercial was maybe a 5 hour shoot for $150 and 3 days later a 4 hour shoot for $75. The music video was an 'all day shoot' (meaning maybe 10-12 hours) for $150. The better choice was obviously the infomercial. Now, me being a musician I wanted to see a real professional music video shoot, guess which one I chose. BAD IDEA! 

I am currently doing a 2 month infomercial shoot for a workout machine called the 'Total Flex'. I wake up every morning 5 days a week at 430am and at 6am train for an hour with a personal trainer. Kind of like a low budget 'The Biggest Loser'. Well the call time for the music video shoot conflicted with my workout so I had to miss it. You are only allowed to miss 3 days in the whole 2 months and this was my third and final day to miss. I just threw away my 1 day pillow for error.

Now this is my very first experience being a Hollywood extra. I get to the shoot and we are put through wardrobe, hair, make-up... and then? I sat around for 10 HOURS IN THE BLAZING HEAT! Now it is about 6pm. The lunch was late, we're all sweating in a tent, being herded like cattle... I quickly realized that if a music video shoot had a caste system, extras are the untouchables. 

The director then tells everyone that the shoot will go to midnight and that there will be no overtime pay, stay till midnight or no check. Period. I asked some of the other extras if this is the norm with video shoots. They said that it was alot of waiting around but one veteran extra told me that out of about 30 that she's done, this shoot was by far the worst. Knowing that I have to wake up at 430 the next morning, and that I have a band audition at noon the next day, I just couldn't do it. I'm not a machine! 

I told one of the producers that respectfully I just cannot stay, and left. I felt really bad about it, but was more upset that I had wasted a good chunk of my life. Either way, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! I came back to a clean apartment, a happy husband, a glass of wine and a hot dinner. Why be an extra in Hollywood when I can be a leading lady at home? :)

That's so Hollywood... *sigh

Last night I had a show at The Cat Club on the Sunset Strip. Nowadays when you want to invite people to your shows you send a Facebook invite, and that's it. Anyone who's anyone is on Facebook ;) So I sent about... 300 invites? Give or take.  3 people showed up... Don't get me wrong, that's really good for Hollywood, everyone being artists and all. (The last time I played the Cat Club -with a full band mind you- absolutely no one showed)

Now this is typical for Los Angeles, and it really took time for me to learn and get used to this. I have been performing my original music in venues all around here for years and I would end up disappointed, ashamed, disillusioned...Imagine how an artist would feel, leaving family and the only home you know to move hundreds of miles away into this crazy city, struggle everyday to make music and pay rent at the same time, all the while having to book gigs, rehearse, perform, pay your musicians (when you can)... and in the end? You're lucky if one person actually comes out to see you, you can forget about getting paid for the gig and ever recouping all that time and energy and money you put into it. This is the cycle... and its a bitch.

On a much more meaningful note: Last night was wonderful! I felt the energy as my friends and I (aka- The Band) stood at the bar and ordered a drinks, our pre-show ritual. There is just something special about being a part of a group you believe in. The people I hang out and perform with are the most talented people I know, and I'm not just saying that. Those who are alike in creativity and talent tend to gravitate towards eachother.... Sooooooo, I guess it  helps that my best friends are rockstars, makes me sound even better ;)

I think I'm going to take a break on the personal shows for a bit, been pretty busy with other music/entertainment related things, subbing at a music school today, shooting an infomercial tomorrow, audition Friday, wedding gig with my 12pc cover band Saturday..... oy vey! Not to mention I am training on a new workout machine called 'Total Flex', waking up every morning at 430 am! (Also for an infomercial- before and after pictures- the whole shebang) Hey... you gotta do what you gotta do to make a living out here... and... I don't think I'd want it any other way. :)  STRUGGLE! PERSISTENCE! MOTIVATION! SUCCESS!